Flippant Friday from a Foreigner

March 18, 2011 in Flippant Friday, Glasgow by Bagging Scotland

Here, Raquel Roman, a Chicagoan who now lives in Glasgow gives her views on the quirky things about Scotland that interest her. So today’s Flippant Friday is by a Foreigner, that’s why we’ve decided to leave in some of the ‘zees’!

“As a foreigner in this country I sometimes happen to notice things that most natives wouldn’t bat an eyelid at. My observations may be irrelevant, immaterial, and unimportant. Yet these observations are just that, observations, and are usually hilarious and true; at least to me. Now not wanting to go down the same route as Gilbert Gottfried, who recently got fired from Aflac for his heinous opinions I promise to keep this light-hearted and will make no reference to Japan (other than to say I am so devastated and sad about the natural disasters which have shattered the country). Getting back to Gilbert Gottfried, I understand that all those reading this blog may not have any clue what I’m talking about, so do your homework and go here you might also learn a thing or two about tasteless tweets.

Raquel Roman. A Chicagoan in Scotland

But alas this isn’t about Twitter or Japan. It’s about the tiny insignificant things that I notice on a day to day basis, things that make me both love and loathe Glasgow. I’ve been here long enough to know that what everyone says about Scotland isn’t always true, I know that Scotland is spelled with one ‘T’ not two, which some Americans have yet to realize. I know that when you get onto a bus or train some old lady will talk to you about the olden days, about the ‘big smoke’, she will offer you a Tunnocks Caramel Wafer and mention how Paolo Nutini is a nice lad but they don’t understand his music, but his mum and dad own a nice fish and chip shop and I should go there.

I know that there are different kinds of rain; small, big, and sideways. The horrible rain ‘pisses’ or ‘pishes’ down, and that’s the worst rain of all. That rain soaks your bones, that rain requires a cup of tea to heal the wounds of your inside-out brolly and your soaked jacket.

Scottish iconic snacking

What I don’t understand is that despite this rain, which has seemingly been around since the dinosaurs, why do 15 year old girls only wear one item of clothing that prepare them for the inclement showers? Ok, they have a brolly but they’re wearing flat shoes with no socks, they have on wellies but no jacket. It boggles my mind.

With the horrible weather comes people talking about the weather. You can have a full 45 minute conversation about the weather and yet never skim the surface about how upset people are about the rain/snow/hail/sleet. Yet what’s so endearing is how happy people are when it’s dry, who cares about the wind or cold, AS LONG AS IT’S DRY!

I know that the more Scots drink the harder it is to understand them, and a bit of banter can easily sounds like a shouting match. I often never know if my neighbours are fighting or having a laugh. Come to think of it, haven’t really heard much from them lately…

I also know that after a ‘piss up’ (Scots really like the word ‘piss’ don’t they?) the only cure the morning after is a full breakfast washed down by an Irn Bru.

But most importantly I know that I’m a brown sauce kind of girl, and if you like ketchup (tomato sauce) on your roll and sausage, we most definitely can’t be friends.”

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